Often I've wondered if "social networking" is a good thing or a bad thing for society. I rarely post much myself and I see a lot of complaining or posting of mean comments (not from my friends of course). It seems so many use it for hurtful or negative purposes. This past week I was reminded that there are two sides to every coin and social networking is no exception.
On Tuesday November 29th I received a call from Kelly, a woman in my MOPS group asking me if I knew that Kim Christensen's 3 month old son Jackson had been sick? I was friends with Kim and her sister Kristie as kids and have kept up with both of them and mom Kathie on Facebook. I had recently reacquainted with Kim even more when she invited me to join her MOPS group this past fall. We both have two girls about the same age and had been pregnant at the same time this past year,Kim with Jackson born in August and I with Max born in June.
Last I'd seen on Facebook Kim thought perhaps Jackson had an ear infection. In fact I had briefly seen her to drop off an order for a fundraiser MOPS was doing. We commiserated on kids and colds for a moment before I left, unaware that Kim was about to face the worst week of her life. I listened on the phone as Kelly told me that Jackson had bacterial meningitis and it had left him with no brain activity. He was on life support. The world seemed to stop as an ache in my heart that literally took my breath away overcame me. I hung up from that call and proceeded to sob uncontrollably. Feeling helpless yet wanting to do something I checked her Facebook page. There I joined others - many whom I did not know - in doing all that we could in that moment: thoughts and prayers for this family to have strength and perhaps a miracle from God.
Later that day I received another phone call updating me that young Jackson would remain on life support surrounded by loved ones through the night and the next day would be taken off to go with God. My heart ached and that night I cried myself to sleep.
The next day there was little updating being done. I continued to keep vigil on her Facebook page along with many others. I read the comments offering support and love, wishing the family strength, the heart-wrenching words of mothers (and fathers) who could not fathom what the Christensen's (and family) were going through. The underlying theme of all posts being "there simply are no words..." that night I cried myself to sleep.
Thursday I awoke and promptly checked Kim's page. By this time I could think of nothing else but my friend and her pain. I again noted on her page that I was still thinking of her. All day as I went about my business, I continued to check back. Now I was starting to recognize names and pictures of Kim's devoted family and friends whom I did not know. It was as if we were all joined in unity waiting for news and offering to do anything that could possibly help, all of us knowing nothing really could. We knew the news would be sad when it came. Perhaps we were waiting to see Kim's words: would they indicate that her faith and the love she is surrounded with would sustain her or was she falling beneath the weight of so much pain? If it was the latter it seemed there was a safety net of relatives, friends and strangers ready to catch her and carry her forward.
I marveled at the uplifting words of faith and encouragement that her loved ones were sharing. I sympathized with the ones that said "all I do is sit here and cry."
Late Thursday words of condolences began appearing on her page. It seemed that little bit of hope we all had for a miracle had evaporated. Still no words from Kim, not that any of us really expected them. The week she was enduring was beyond my comprehension. I achingly wrote some thoughts to her and John. Posted my sadness on my own wall asking for you to remember this little ambassador of God and went to bed. That night I cried myself to sleep.
Friday morning we all awoke to a post from Kim; it simply said:
12/2/11 @ 12:16 a.m...
Instantly I thought of my friend and the path God had led her down, a path that in many regards was just beginning. I sobbed as I thought of her holding her baby boy when he took his final breaths and his father holding his little hand telling him it was ok to let go. This is where I find myself lost for words (which rarely happens). I cannot begin to imagine the heartache in that room. I went about my day saddened beyond belief and continuing to periodically check Kim's page for straggling posts of condolence and love.
I worked and met a friend out afterwards to discuss her impending nuptials. My mind was elsewhere. I heard the ding on my phone and checked. It was nearly 11:30. Less than 24 hours after Jackson had passed. The notification on my phone was telling me I had a post on my wall from Kim. Anxious to do anything she was requesting of me I checked the message. My hands literally trembled with sadness for this woman. Her post:
I am thinking of your dad!
(my dad is in the hospital)
Once again tears flowed from my eyes. This woman who had endured unspeakable loss was thinking of my father?! The selflessness she showed enveloped me immediately. She was asking for nothing but offering everything. I went to Facebook where I then saw Kim had posted to her status the following:
So tonight, while hugging my girls and saying good night. I ask Morgan if I should still run the Christmas Pageant at church. Her response "Even without Baby Jackson as Jesus?" And I respond by saying "Jackson will be watching from heaven." Morgan says, "Yes. He will." So how can I not continue?? I will be honored to continue on with the Pageant. What better way to then Honor my Son?
Amazed at the strength of mind, soul and character displayed before me I sat dumbfounded.
It would seem God's plan for this little angel was to be a gift to his family and their friends - loved every second of his short life. He brought much joy to their lives. When he left this earthly home he reminded so many - those he knew and strangers as well - about the importance of appreciating the people in your life, particularly your children. As the Christensen's story was shared and reposted from wall to wall asking for prayers it touched the hearts of everyone who read it and I would imagine there were thousands of kids out there wondering why mommy and daddy were smothering them with kisses all day ;) Something tells me Jackson and the story of his life will continue to impact others for a long time to come in ways we cannot even fully understand right now - God does work in mysterious ways which we cannot always understand.
Kim and John have given me hope. I've seen so much love for and within this family. I've seen people remain true to their faith in the face of such extreme grief. I have seen the human condition at it's best this week - and oddly I have seen much of it through this little window we call Facebook. At one point I thought hope had gone, but somehow they are still filled with it. These two wonderful parents at the center of it all continue to care, to hope and love with and for their beautiful daughters. They are raising their children to be as special and faithful as they are; it is evident by little Morgan's wise statement. Their path ahead is long and difficult. I hope they will be guided by God and feel Jackson's love as they continue. I thank my friends who have kept this family in your thoughts and prayers. Continue to do so. I conclude that Facebook connects me to people I otherwise would never see or know. Thank you for sharing your lives with me.
I say it again, because it bears repeating - in 3 short months you impacted so many people precious boy: "well done good and faithful (little) servant...come and share your master's happiness."
Tonight I am thankful that I have been blessed to know Kim and her family. Tonight I will not cry myself to sleep.
